He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
