can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
