I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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