What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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