DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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