drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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