covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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