we're chasing vodka with high fives
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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