ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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