he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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