His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
