Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the condom got lost in my hair
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
