If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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