Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
