So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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