operation have a gay friend backfired
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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