A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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