I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
