Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
