we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
