Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
