Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
