let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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