Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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