She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
