so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
