am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
