Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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