there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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