He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
