Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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