I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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