mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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