plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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