guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He shit in the fireplace
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
