I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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