im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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