I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
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