I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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