he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
worst night to have a conscience
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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