They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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