on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
