So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
