i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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