talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize