Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
