Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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