All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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