Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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