Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
