barbara walters just said penis...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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