We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm really busy with my period
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