Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
