Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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