That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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