i think my tv is drunk
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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