none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
