but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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