I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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