ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
