Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Still dying that you shit outside
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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