If that was your dad, he is hot
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
