wat bout pragnant strippers??
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
