we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
