dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
