so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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