kristin has been a bad kristin
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
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Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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