After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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