i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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