the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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